Ode to Stacey Nightmare

For years I've been wearing the same pair of Steve Madden slides to work that I wear to the beach. It is not unheard of for me to be walking around with chocolate on my face. My morning routine includes pulling my unbrushed hair into a bumpy ponytail, throwing on a probably wrinkled, but hopefully not very stained, sort of almost business-casual outfit, and sometimes brushing my teeth. The bright-eyed, stylish (or even just neat) career girl getting on the subway kind of bewilders me. Hair flatironed, eyeshadow applied, seams smoothed, lashes curled, stockings...not torn. We're from different planets. On the topic of 'blogs that used to be good' I recall Stacey Nightmare. Totally nuts and beyond crude, we're not exactly spiritual twins. But on this one, I hear you Stacey, I hear you. Ladies and gentlemen, circa Friday, January 28, 2005, Stacey Nightmare- YOU’RE DRINKIN’ A CHAI TEA, RIGHT? RIGHT? I CAN SMELL IT!! Sometimes I get the urge to act like a lunatic. To be “this person”, as in when people are like: “ So I was just sitting there, minding my own business when this person says--” I was sitting next to this girl on the L train and I could totally smell her tea....It was all warm and spicy and cinnamony and it made me feel like this girl really had her shit together! You know what I mean? It was 11 am and I hadn’t even put my socks on yet (whatever, I’ll do it at my desk) and this girl was drinking spiced tea. I felt like we were on some sort of scale together, I sat at the crazy end, and she was at the “put together” end. I knew what kind of tea it was too! Chai tea. I was sure of it! Yes! And that’s when I got this urge to be one of those crazy people who talks to you on the train for no reason in a loud voice about something you are wearing or doing. Like: “Hey I bet that scarf keeps ya warm!” Or “That book looks interesting!” Or like what I was tempted to do: “Hey! I smell that! Smells good! Chai tea, right? Right? Am I right? I can smell it! MMM-MM!” and then keep talking to the person, undeterred as they try to ward me off with muttered, monosyllabic answers: “Well sure people are getting all sorts of teas today, am I right? You must be some a kind of gourmet! You probably are only use that sea salt stuff, right?” Kudos, Stacey dear.