Awake

I woke up on Saturday morning. Today is Monday. My conscience is forcing me to admit that yes, over the past 2+ days I technically did manage to slip into the beautiful oblivion a few times for a total of 5ish hours. But tell that to my nervous system. Don't know why, but the sleep just doesn't come. But now it's daylight again, so I can escape the cruel bed that has been mocking me all night. Now I'm dressed and out. For every 5 seconds that I've got my mental/physical coordination, there's a split second where I briefly fall off the face of the earth. My actions are on autopilot and I'm just hovering above myself and watching. In some kind of fugue state. Or like walking in a cumulus cloud. Not tired or sleepy, just detached, oblivious and a bit dangerous. Thoughts last just a moment until they evaporate from my head. I don't trust myself to cross Broadway safely. I eventually follow a group across the street. I get a seat on the train and stay there despite the old woman's evil eye. Falling off at my stop it's pure muscle-memory that gets me from the subway to my office. Will go explain my state to my boss, though I'm not remembering her name. What am I wearing?